30.Single.Educated.And Living At Home.

If you would have asked me ten years ago where I saw myself in ten years, it might have gone something like this: Married with at least one child, well established in my career as a civil rights lawyer and a homeowner. After all, my parents accomplished all of those things (well sorta, not so sure about the career bit) by the time they were 25 years old. Surely I can achieve such things by 30. Yet, ten years later none of that has happened. I knew my life was in for a change when during the second year of law school I realized that my dreams of becoming a civil rights lawyer like Thurgood Marshall were being hampered by one little fact: I HATE PRACTICING LAW. Not wanting to waste this nice name brand education, however, I told myself I’d give it five years max. I lasted two years. Then I proceeded to do what any young, well educated professional who doesn’t like her job does, I went back to school to amass more education.

This time I went to Divinity School at another name brand institution. No, it wasn’t because I feared that I lost my soul in those two years. Rather, religion, like race and the law, has been an interest of mine since childhood. There were parts of Divinity School I really loved, and other parts I hated, like the cold weather. But perhaps the most disappointing part of Divinity School was graduating with no solid game plan, and having to move back home. Although I love my parents and living with them is rather nice, the idea of coming back home at 29 just felt like I had somehow failed. How did I have all this name brand education and still end up back here? How are some of my peers homeowners, married with children, but I’m stuck in the room downstairs with my dog Benji? Where had I gone wrong?

Or had I gone wrong?

Through these last few years of transitioning, I recognized that failure to reach long term goals should not always be equated with overall failure at life. What we think we want is dictated by the information and wisdom we have at the moment. As our knowledge and understanding grow, so too do our desires and goals. My desires in life, at least professionally, have evolved significantly from when I was a 20 year old college sophomore. Thankfully I’m in a place that I can accommodate these desires without any major obligations. Had I become all the things I thought I wanted to be ten years ago, married with a child and a homeowner, I wouldn’t be able to allow my life to evolve as easily as my desires had.

But how did I get to this point of acceptance? Well, answering that is the impetus for this blog. I recognize that I’m not the only one experiencing this transitional discomfort. Finding the courage to relinquish old dreams while imagining greater ones is a continuous journey for me, and others. In sharing my story and the lessons I have learned and will learn along the way (as well as random musings), I hope you too will be encouraged to evolve with life. Oh, and I hope you find much laughter along the way. . .

—Until Next Time–

Palooke