It’s November, and in a few days I will be making my transition from merely being “30” to being IN my 30s. Apparently there is a BIG difference between the two. There are a lot of realities of life that I don’t understand yet because I’m not IN my 30s, I’m just 30. Awaiting me in the next few days in not just an increase in my age, but the imparting of great wisdom, from whom I don’t know. Although anything is possible, I must confess that I do not believe that my life will drastically change in the next few days. But with the dawn of another year of life, I can’t help but reflect upon the past year as I consider what has changed, what has remained the same, what is still unknown, and what I hope for in the coming year. This last year has shaped me in unexpected ways, and I want to use this space to share a few things: an important life experience from last year, the biggest a life lesson I learned, and my hope for the upcoming year.
Important Life Experience: Letting Go
Last week I wrote a piece titled The Crowd You Keep: Roadblocks to Success. It dealt with the importance of wisely choosing those we allow closest to us. Friendships are not only socially beneficial; they are also critical to our success in life. “Friend” and “BFF” are words we throw around carelessly, I believe, and afford that status to people too quickly and undeservedly. In truth, if we have one or two people that we can honestly refer to as our best friend—a person we are most comfortable around, trust with our deepest secrets, can be vulnerable with and do not feel judged—then we are blessed. At times we believe a person meets this criteria, only to discover that they do not.
I had the unfortunate experience of coming to this conclusion this year through a very painful experience, which was really the culmination of other minor offenses. Although, we had fun and shared great memories, there came a point where the benefits were outweighed by the hurt. Even though I knew I needed to let go, this was not an easy task for me to do. It was hard to walk away from something that I had invested in and really enjoyed without feeling like a failure. Nevertheless, I realized that in life some people are meant to be there for a particular period of time, and their departure need not be an indictment on you or the other person. I hold no ill feelings, I wish them well and am still sadden by it. However, learning to let go was a critical skill I learned this year.
Biggest Life Lesson: Don’t Be Afraid to Try
This year I started a business and was TERRIFIED. My biggest fears were appearing incompetent and failing. Those fears have not subsided, but I continue on despite them. I’ve learned that instead of beating myself up for any perceived mistake or lack of knowledge, to allow myself more grace to learn and grow. No one starts out knowing everything; most information is learned on the job. As I began to research successful entrepreneurs, I observed that many of them begin with similar fears or lack of knowledge. The difference between them and those who didn’t succeed is that they did not let their fears or failures stop them. They were not afraid to try and try again. In other words, I found that fearlessness is a key ingredient to success. By fearless, I do not mean operating without fear or understanding of the risk. Rather, being fearless means one fully understands the risk but does not let that stop her. Through my new business venture I am learning to be fearless. I do not know what will become of my business or my next career move. No matter what the future holds, however, I know I will look back at this decision and say “I’m glad I wasn’t afraid to try!”
Greatest Hope For The Next Year
Finally, I would like to close with my hope for this coming year, which is the hope for love. I know I only tangentially discuss this area of my life (although I really thought about doing a Palooke Dating Chronicles but couldn’t figure out how to do so while keeping others anonymous) but it is quite important. The desire to love and be loved is deeply ingrained in our human nature. I’m no exception. While I am very proud of my accomplishments and excited about my career projection, all those things mean nothing to me without someone to share them with. So for this upcoming year I pray to find someone to share the most intimate part of my life. Of course I’ll have to change the subtitle to my blog from “30.Single.AndLivingAtHome” to another descriptor. But hey, I’m going to have to do that in a few days anyway.
–Until Next Year–
Palooke
